40 years ago, Apollo 17 landed on the moon. We haven't been back since. What's the matter? You scared?
On July 20th, 1969, Badass Extraordinaire Neil Armstrong and Douchebag Puncher 1st Class Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon. We went back a few more times over the next three years until the Apollo program was cancelled due to budget cuts, because apparently Congress wasn't interested in funding the most profound achievement in the history of mankind. An alternative theory, which may or may not have been put forth by Buzz Aldrin, is that people today are "a bunch of whining, sniveling, candy-asses who couldn't go back to the moon if they wanted to because they don't have the balls."
The greatest minds and largest cajones of our generation have been working tirelessly to prove Buzz wrong. NASA had a plan to return to the moon by 2020 (and Mars by 2035), but they were unsurprisingly hamstrung by the government. In any case, it doesn't seem that we'll be getting all up in Luna's hot, craggy face any time soon.
But Kickstarter has given us the tools to override the shit-flinging chimps who control the money and get people on the moon our damn selves.
The cancellation of the Constellation program and ever tightening space budgets demonstrate that Congress lacks the foresight or political will to get extraplanetary manned missions back on track in the near future.
Kickstarter allows us to bypass the hypertensive anuses that control the budget by supporting this incredibly important scientific venture directly. The people want to complain about NASA taking money out of their pockets, so we'll give the money to them directly.
On top of that, it makes the moon-landing not a strictly American venture, but rather an international accomplishment by opening up donations to all countries. We'd probably even specially design a cool Earth flag to be planted there.
About the Project
The original NASA budget for a moon mission was $104 billion. Here is a breakdown of how that money would be spent:
For that price, we get another manned moon mission, the possibility to establish a lunar colony (and associated doomsday moon laser), and a stepping stone to landing on Mars, which means we could be dating triple-breasted alien women in our lifetime.
Lower tier rewards aren't much, which is your penalty for being cheap. Upper tier rewards get you shit from space. People love stuff that's been in space. Hell, a moon navigation chart from Apollo 11 sold for $218,000 at auction. Imagine all the cool crap you could get and then hock on eBay.
Back to Raddy's Tuition.
pledged of $104,000,000,000 goal
days to go
Pledge $10 or more59,440 Backers
A hearty pat on the back, delivered by you! Because that's what empowerment is all about.Est. delivery: Jan 2013
Pledge $100 or more18,837 Backers
Your name on a NASA website dedicated to moon landing supporters. Only ten names per page will be displayed and there is no search function.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $1,000 or more8,581 Backers
An e-mail from NASA thanking you for supporting this awesome expedition. Check your spam folder.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $10,000 or more422 Backers
Your name on a continuous crawl below the moon landing broadcast. Better DVR it.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $100,000 or more17 Backers
A complimentary bag of popcorn to mow down while watching the moon landing (you pay shipping).Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $1,000,000 or more3 Backers
Special edition Blu-Ray box-set of the moon landing, complete with astronaut commentary and blooper reel.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $10,000,000 or more0 Backers Limited (1000 of 1000 left)
A postcard from fucking space.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $100,000,000 or more0 Backers Limited (100 of 100 left)
An honest to god moon rock to cherish forever until you die, most likely from radiation poisoning due to cosmic ray emissions. Seriously, that shit's dangerous, you probably don't want a moon rock.Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $1,000,000,000 or more0 Backers Limited (10 of 10 left)
Astronauts will write your name in the moon dust where, due to the lack of wind, it will remain for eternity (asteroid impacts and Independence Day-like ship vibrations notwithstanding).Est. delivery: Jul 2016
Pledge $10,000,000,000 or more0 Backers Limited (1 of 1 left)
A round-trip ticket to the freaking moon. We're looking at you, Gates.Est. delivery: Jul 2016